


words just fade away (trying to find the things to say)

by awwcoffeenooooo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: ;), Angst with a Happy Ending, Engagement, F/M, FitzSimmons style, Fluff, Promises, diner chats and space engagements, here you go Adrienne I hope you're happy, its just that it's me writing it, literally if the Hallway Scene from 5x06 went a lil differently, literally this started in a chat but whoops my hand slipped, or like, really all you need, slight angst, this is a serious fic i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:51:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awwcoffeenooooo/pseuds/awwcoffeenooooo
Summary: "Marry me?" He breathes it out like it's all he has left, his eyes so intent, body still pressed against every inch of hers. She tries not to cry, not to let the tears slip, but the blooming in her chest is too great and she can't help but breathlessly smile.[Fitz makes a promise in a diner on Earth. Seventy four years later, he makes good on it.]





	words just fade away (trying to find the things to say)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [intothenowhere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothenowhere/gifts).



> okay so like I had surgery on my foot and couldn't walk so ofc Adrienne and I got up to shenanigans on tumblr and started annoying Tegan with part of a thing I wrote, and now, twelve hours later, that thing is now close to 2K of literally shameless whatever the heck popped into my drugged head. Also, I keep on trying to leave, but Adrienne won't let me. So here. More fic for everyone. 
> 
> title from Palaye Royale's Die For Something Beautiful, which I highly recommend listening to because not only is the song a soft sort of thing you don't find very often, the music video is also beautifully calming. Link -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbc6374M_oI (they're also hella cute and great in concert jUST SAYING)
> 
> please enjoy, and keep in mind any inaccuracies are definitely from the pain killers I'm on

> _Every time I see your face at night_
> 
>   
>  _Moving slowly through the wanted lights_
> 
>  
> 
> _Watermarks illuminate your eyes_
> 
>   
>  _Every time I see them make me want to cry_
> 
>  
> 
>  

* * *

 

 

Sometimes, she thinks they are nothing but longing looks and long silences that are only broken by stolen moments from the chaos around them.

It's always like this. A distance between their palms, and a heaviness in their gazes. She can see it now, in his broken gaze as he only ever dares to cast a glance her way. She won't push him. Not right now, as they sit in a SUV that somehow survived the fire, and drive towards wherever the hell this life takes them next. 

It's a diner, apparently. 

"May and I are going to wash up," Daisy says immediately from her position between the two of them. "Elena?"

"Of course," the woman nods, nudging Mack. "You and Coulson go, too."

Daisy nods. "Sounds like a plan. Simmons, you and Fitz mind saving us some seats?"

She pinches her in the thigh, but Daisy's eyes hold nothing but a silent plea to try. And she can't resist. Because they need to talk, however small and insignificant it seems in the light of recent events. She needs to let him know that she loves him, she's not leaving, she's staying no matter what the word means. 

So she nods, lets Fitz trail her into the diner and snag seats at the counter because there's no fitting Mack Mackenzie in a booth. They don't have much time, she knows this, logically. There's only so long the others can take under the guise of cleaning up before Fitz gets suspicious.

"I asked Daisy to leave us alone," he blurts out before she can even begin to formulate a way to start this conversation. 

Jemma blinks, brows furrowing, and her hand gently lands on his arm. She's wordless, doesn't know how to broach this, how to ask why and start in on any number of the shitty things that have happened to them this side of the world. But he does it for her. 

"I needed to tell you I'm sorry," he manages, fingers playing with a sugar packet. "And I know you're going to say there's nothing to be sorry for, and that it wasn't me."  A deep breath, his hands still toying. "And I need you to know that I believe that. I do, logically. I don't think it was me in there, doing all those awful things. Some other version of me, yes, but not this one." he drops the packet. "I'll realize that eventually. But for now, I feel guilty. And I have to work through that,"

"I know," she manages, a slight smile playing at her lips. They're so broken right now, broken but together, and somehow she wonders if there's some warning sign to this that she's missed. If there's some way she could have saved them all of this hurt and suffering from the beginning. "I know you're hurting. But I'm here, Fitz. I'm not leaving you. We'll get through this, together,"

He nods, eyes teary when he manages to look up to her. "I know. And that's the other thing," he clears his throat. "I'm going to ask you to be my wife one day, Jemma. I've known it since I was sixteen years old, and I still know it now."

She can't hold back a slight sob from the back of her throat, belatedly wondering when it was that her eyes first started tearing up, something in her churning with both so much love and hope for their future and something so broken by everything that had happened to them in the past weeks. 

"Now's not that time," he continues, blinking to clear his eyes. "We've got a lot of shit to work through, me especially." his fingers slide under hers, gripping her hand so tightly she thinks he might hurt himself. "But one day, I promise you. Alright, Jemma? One day,"

And she can see it, the hurt he's carrying, the pain and anger and confusion, but she can also see the hope and conviction in his words, in the way he's saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. 

She can't do much but nod, and then she's falling to his embrace, and he's holding her up. 

_We're a mess_ , she thinks, sitting at a diner and all but sobbing in each other's arms. But they have a spark, now. A small hope that one day, they can have it all, away from SHIELD and LMDs and portals and virtual realities.

One day, they'll be each other's. 

 

* * *

 

 

When she sees him, it's like her breath stops. 

Because there he is. She'd recognize him anywhere, not just in his features but in his build, in the slimness of his torso and the still present lankiness of his limbs. It's her Fitz, the man she's spent nights with, memorizing each other's minds and bodies, and she can't help the stinging in her eyes. It's been so long since she got to see him, not an LMD or a simulation or the broken man she'd held onto like oxygen in a pod. This is him -- with a breathless gaze, and startling eyes that look just to be in just as much disbelief at seeing her as she is of seeing him.

There's no pain there, just longing. And she won't stand to see another moment of it. 

It doesn't matter who takes the first step, and never mind she can't feel her legs pulling her towards the man she loves. Because then he's crashing into her, his chest so firm under this jacket that she suddenly despises. It's stiff and impersonal, a sort of facade that's covering her Fitz. The one who wears soft and cuddly cardigans that smell like home and little ties that they've shared ever since she can remember. 

She can't bring herself to speak, but what she can feel is Fitz's mantra of her name, of his hand reaching to pull her hair free even as he buries his face in her neck. He's always said he liked it down, down where he could touch and braid and feel. It's no different now, as he pulls it out and runs his fingers through it gently. She's always been cat like, in his words, loving to be pet and stroked. This is the same. He's seeking comfort, something like home. The same as she would love to bury herself in his sweaters to the point of suffocation.

"I've missed you," she manages to croak out somehow, voice shaking. 

Hands finally landing on her shoulders, he pushes her back gently, his eyes wetly tracking over her every feature, as if to commit it to memory. She can't help but do the same, from the way he's grown out his scruff, to the bandana that he had always insisted was gangster and childish. She has to suppress a sad smile, remembering the days when they were young with hope and a childlike wonder in their eyes. 

  His breath is warm, fanning across her lips and nose. She chances a hand up to his face, her thumb settling just at the very edge of his beard. His slight intake of breath at her touch only hitches once more as she runs her hand up the side of his jaw, cupping his head to bring him down to her.

 It's like a dam breaks, his body pressing into hers as his lips descend upon hers. It's like tasting oxygen after so long of starvation, and she lets out a light moan as he presses forward further until her back presses into the wall. She can't focus on the danger of this, only on the way his movements flood through her veins like a drug. He pulls back for a split second to suck in a breath, his eyes flashing to hers in a spark of blue, before his mouth is back on hers and his tongue is licking over her lip. She bites it gently, leaning closer, inhaling his scent and feeling his hands on her hips, holding her so tight she thinks he may break a wrist.

 Somehow, she finds it in her to push him back before things get any further, managing to push his knee back to the outside of hers. Breathing heavily, she curls her free hand into the lapel of his jacket, her other scratching through the hair at the base of his neck. It's just the right length, enough to rival being called a curl but still enough for her wind through the gaps of her fingers. Their breaths mingling, she forces herself to meet his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Fitz, I —" 

"Jemma, wait," he rushes out, sounding winded. "I just, I need to ask you first. Before anything else," 

 She can feel tears pricking at her eyes, but she blinks them away. It won't do to smudge the gold any further, though she can see the glimmer of paint on Fitz's wet lips. Her thumb moves to stroke over it gently, the tiny flecks catching in the dim light. 

"Marry me?" He breathes it out like it's all he has left, his eyes so intent, body still pressed against every inch of hers. She tries not to cry, not to let the tears slip, but the blooming in her chest is too great and she can't help but breathlessly smile.

"Of course," she somehow manages around the ball in her throat, trying not to smile so greatly she thinks her face might split. She thinks of what feels like so many years ago, sitting back on a diner on Earth, his eyes full of hurt, but also a spark of strength and conviction. "You took the words right out of my mouth, after all,"  

If she looks into his eyes any longer, she knows she'll break down. She'll break down in his arms and stain them both with golden tears and somehow that's so poetic and cheesily romantic she wants to laugh. Instead, she pushes forward, her mouth colliding with his almost violently, their teeth clacking before Jemma laughs and rights their movements. 

She'll never tire of this, of holding him up just as much as he's holding her, and of being so enthralled with another being she would take him over air. They've pulled through water and blood and space and time and  _galaxies_ apart, and here, she thinks, is their future. 

His breath again ghosts over her lips, gold all but smeared between the two of them, and she can't help but giggle.

"They're going to catch us," she manages, voice low but light, stroking a hand again from his chin to the nape of his neck. Fitz only shrugs. 

"Let them come," he murmurs, voice edged with amusement even as he takes her hand. "Last I heard, this place is for creating exemplary humans. What do you say we practice?"

And she can't help but feel free in her slave's garments, laughing and letting her fiance lead her to his quarters.

Somehow, she thinks it's actually their future they're running towards.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> they totally get caught, but in this universe Kasius isn't such a hypothermic asshole and they have a good laugh over the gold paint smeared all over Fitz's face. Jemma makes numerous Office references.
> 
> there are literally so many lines in here that are vague Pierce The Veil lyric references and I regret nothing. also, the part about being held up is a shameless reference to Frank's penny and dime monologue in daredevil. I have no chill.
> 
> please feel free to review, might even encourage me to actually post most of the stuff I have saved.
> 
> trash of a tumblr -- whentheskyequakes


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